#113: "I For India"

So this post is going to be short. I’ve been internetless for over a week, which is the Giant Haystacks of excuses for anyone maintaining a blog. I was without the internet abroad because I forgot that wireless internet isn’t actually magic fairy dust that follows me around just because I am kind and believe in fairies. Also when I returned home my internet was fricked for a few days.

I’ve basically spent the best part of 3 days being told of by Indian call centre workers. They’re difficult. They wouldn’t let me show any signs of being human, so I ended up conforming like an obedient fool in the hope it would bring my wireless internet fairy back to life. I kept doing things they asked, then waiting, then was ordered around some more and if I said anything other than “yes”, “no”, “it still doesn’t work” or “OK, I’ve done that” they vehemently showed disapproval, sometimes in the form of calling me Martin.

While I was both out of the country and internetless, Bongos took control of the If I Was A Gecko myspace. The result was one friend (feel free to add yourself) and several unfavourable comments. I don’t think it helped that my most recent post was a picture of a beaver with a cleaver.

“I didn't bother to read this. Judging by the comments, it would probably be a waste of my time if I did”
Later followed by:
“I didn't even bother to read this. I looks retarded and judging by the comments, I probably wouldn't give a damn if I had read it. - luvleyblond”

I now realise that this blog is totally inaccessible. Only word of mouth could ever convince someone to make the effort to persevere. But like I’d say to luvleyblond, my blog is a lot like anal sex - at first you may not see the point, but then morbid curiosity will overcome the fact it’s quite hard to get into and a bit shitty once you do and one way or another it’ll probably surprise you.


OF THE DAY Is Away At The Moment, But Here Is A Picture Of What He Is Doing OF THE DAY - Exiting a plane during an emergency landing…. with lots of attractive women in pink...


At one point, one of the Indian call centre workers asked me if I knew where he was calling from. After some confusion about what and why he was asking, he told me “India”...... I said “OK” .....and we continued to unplug things together. But later on he stopped saying “I for indigo” during some instructions and instead said “I for India”. [Question You Must Answer In The Form Of A Comment:] What did all that mean???


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