#111: "Quite Fast"

[WARNING: Contains lots of "recent studies" 'n' shit like that]

I put food in my mouth and eat. It’s just the kind of person I am. I haven’t always put food in my mouth though. In the past it’s not been a particular priority and other people have presented me with food more often than I desired it myself. I’m currently someone who eats well, but modestly.

Some people’s food habits make me want to vomit more than eating a year old gherkin, found under a rat on the floor of Mika’s bathroom. Like trendy’s cuisine of one-upmanship, where everything they consumed must have name’s which require an accent, or if not, be ironic - In the extreme, those who would buy an £85 sandwich (aged sourdough bread filled with prime wagyu beef, foie gras, black truffle mayo, ripened brie, red pepper confit and fresh salad leaves) because it looks prestigiously wonderful in their basket.

Then there are those who see food with an uncontrollable concupiscence, as if the fat, sugar and salt heavy foods are like filthy prostitutes whose legality you’d be insane not to take advantage of. My dad’s a bit like that.
There was a recent study showing that ghrelin, the hormone in your gut, has a greater non-homeostatic, or hedonic, affect on food consumption than first though. So apparently ghrelin acts on specific areas of your brain to view food as more appealing. Mmmmm, delicious Sunny Delight and tasty chicken nuggets, and not - Eeeew, orange looking chemicals with vegetable oil and salty mashed chicken heads and arses in batter. That kind of thing.

But of course food is biologically integral and something with the potential to be excitingly sensorial. But, in my opinion, not important enough to be a total Fucking-Whittingstall and obsess about it to the point of poncey preposterousness and at the expense of things that actually matter.

So that’s food. Yum yum, and so on. But I’ve always been curious about how those with plenty, not only appreciate food differently, but see it as a qualitatively different entity as those without it. Food is rarely consciously sustenance to you and I, more an accessible slice of yummy happiness. I suppose, with that in mind, you can understand the religious significance of fasting, as regards to a regular reaffirmation of corporality and the ease of our survival.

So fasting. No yum yum, and so on. I thought about fasting after reading about the economic crisis suffered by Cuba, as the Soviet empire began to unravel in 1989. The crisis is now seen to have had a positive affect on health in many way. The country was hit with serious food and fuel shortages resulting in a lack of cars and public transportation and a reduction in the average number of calories consumed from 2,900 to 1,863. In the years that followed, obesity halved, deaths from potentially fatal diseases fell dramatically - diabetes by 51 per cent, coronary artery disease by 35 per cent and stroke by 20 per cent. These figures have been used to illustrate that if everyone lost just 4 or 5 kilograms, a nation's mortality rates would drop dramatically.

As far as fasting goes, many believe that giving the gastro-intestinal system a rest can detoxify cells, rejuvenate organs, slows of the aging process and reduces the risk of cancer and other diseases and may even cure some conditions such as cardiovascular disease, rheumatoid arthritis, asthma, high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes.

That's all great, but I think I want to fast because I wonder what it would be like. I am a wonderer. When I say fasting though, I mean proper fasting, water and nothing else. And not alternate fasting like some people do. Because studies on mice have convinced many to fast for one day, eat twice as much the next and so on, as they showed it can have greater benefits than reducing calorie intake.
So far I can't find any studies to show the affects on one's penis. I'm going to be a frickin' trailblazer!!


If They Were Another Race/Sex/Age/Whatever OF THE DAY - Graham Norton:
If he were old, Chinese, black and a copy cat mother lover who used my idea and featured the website I use on his show waaaay after I used it!!

Short Comic Strips OF THE DAY - “Secret Mutant Hero Team” and “Goodbye Stanley”

Quotes From A Cock Ring Review OF THE DAY - The ball banger - ‘Made of super stretchy high grade silicone for extra durability and amazing comfort’:
“I must admit I was a bit dubious with the dangling balls”
“Pros: The softness and metal balls. Cons: We lost a ball so had to buy a new one”
“The stretchiest thing I've seen since last Tony Blair used the word 'truth'”

Reason For Me To Want To Find A Wife OF THE DAY - The extra income

Warehouse Worker OF THE DAY - Gameboyaz:
“A masculine gay male currently living in central phoenix”
“I'm a major video gamer, owning almost every system that's been out. Am I the only gay gamer??”
“Although I am single, I'm not actively seeking a boyfriend. I'm more looking for someone to hang out with & maybe mess around with too.”
“Other subjects of interest for me include the paranormal & the unexplained, the Titanic, and archeology.”


I‘m only going to fast for 5 days initially, because I‘m going away after that and I have to eat or else I‘ll look like a freak. If I still fancy furthering this experiment I might do it for longer and become like those artists in that Kafka short story, “Ein Hungerkünstler”.... Oh you know the one....
As I’ve mentioned in the past, I share my birthday with Gandhi, famous for his fasting as well as his fisting. So if anyone asks, like Gandhi, I am fasting for “self-purification”. [Question You Must Answer In The Form Of A Comment:] If you were with someone and they used that excuse for not eating would you think they were a fucking twat?


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