#110: "The Multiball System"

Ever since I reviewed the Sunderland FC sexfest, I’ve kept an eye open for other football orgies. When I say ‘eye’ I mean ‘eyes’ really, I don't keep my rude singular eye open for it, just so you know.

Since the aforementioned 'footballer sex in socks with mates watching', I've noticed (via a handy website) there has been the odd bit of knobbing in a nightclub, wanking on web cam and cocks on camera phone. There was even the spank-til-you-bleed, Nazi / concentration camp prisoner fetish orgy, enjoyed by Formula One boss Max Mosely. But if you’re anything like me, and I think you are, then you’re just interested in orgies. Big crazy unashamed massive sexy sex parties.

Did I hear you say you wanted a big crazy unashamed massive sexy sex party? No. But let me fill in the details of one anyway. I'm sure you know Brazilians go mental for them. Studies have show that group sex is as frequent and normal in Brazilian society as waving is in the United Kingdom. Also there are more sex parties in Brazil per person per annum than there are biscuits eaten in Wales.

A recent Brazilian sex party involved Real Madrid’s Robinho and Ronaldinho of Barcelona. Following their win against Ecuador, they decided to celebrate with sexy ladies in a nightclub. Brazilian newspaper O Globo reporting, “At one point Robinho – who had been seen dancing with a voluptuous blonde – asked a security guard “for 40 condoms.”

But Robinho knows his limits when it comes to alcohol fueled fuckfests and as a man engaged to be married and expecting his first child, called it a “night” at 5am. Toothy bachelor Ronaldinho, on the other hand, remained busy until he left at 11am - hidden in the boot of a car to avoid being photographed.

Unfortunately there is no photographs of inside the nightclub, so one can only imagine the sexy soccer-loving Brazilian girls, butt munching, sucking, titty sharing and full on football sex action.

That was an example of when orgies go well. Milan Striker Ronaldo was involved in a brilliant example of when they go badly wrong. He was in Brazil having been injured and left his house after an argument with his girlfriend. To help him reflect better, he hired three street prostitutes and took them back to a motel room. But the "sexy" girls were actually crazy transvestite whores that stole his car documents and demanded money to keep quiet about the whole thing! One of them Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino wanted more then the £300/$600 the other two accepted and demanded £15,000/$30,000. HE quickly filmed Ronaldo on his camera phone, whilst being heard saying, “this is to prove that it's really you”.

Andre Albertino, who once whored himself using the name Andreia Albertine (clever) on a delightful website, spoke to the press, later accusing Ronaldo of wanting drugs and being threatening. Ronaldo had to admit that he picked up three ugly tranny hookers, but due to prostitution being legal in Brazil, faced no charges and went on to accuse Andre Albertino of extortion.

Police later said, “Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery.” Andre fought back on TV by using a lot quotation mark hand signals when talking about his gender, which also doubles as the hand signal for the number of penises involved.


Essential Component Of A Successful Suicide Cult OF THE DAY - Good use of the internet:
The Japanese bloody love internet suicide. They generally love suicide and have more per capita than any other industrialized country, over 30,000 per year. But in recent years suicide websites and groups have brought killing yourself into the 21st Century, with people easily finding suicide tips and partners to share the experience.
But it’s not just the Japanese, Gerald Krein from Oregon formed a Yahoo chat room called “Suicide 2005”, asking women to hang themselves naked with him on Valentine's Day. He was later sentences to up to 20 years in a state mental hospital, so that obviously didn‘t work.
There is also the use of social networking sites, as was suspected in the case of the suicides in Bridgend and chatrooms as was the case for Kevin Whitrick who killed himself on his webcam in March 20007.

As this is the final Essential Component Of A Successful Suicide Cult OF THE DAY, I think it's now appropriate to point out that I think suicide is rubbish, really rubbish and the people who encourage suicide are the rubbishest. Of course death is rubbish too, but also something enigmatic, which is of course the reason it can seem more attractive than life. But life is obviously a super brill thing overall, something that is crazily magical, which everyone feels at sometime. Of course it sounds gay putting it like that, but better sounding gay than religious I say.
When it does seems wondrous, it convinces me of two things, that I'm an extremely lucky participant and if all the inexplicableness turns out to be magical after all, then my actions towards such a thing surely have some meaning.
I'm positive like that, so this blog is effectively the antidote to all the suicide websites that are obsessed with narrowing vulnerable people's potential to think. I'm as accepting of death as they are, except I believe the tragicomic duality of life is something to brave with joy and see what happens and to appreciate the fact that something always will.

If They Were Another Race/Sex/Age/Whatever OF THE DAY - Gordon Brown:
If he were Black.

Short Comic Strips OF THE DAY - “Snail Harassment” and “Wishing Well”

Quotes From A Cock Ring Review OF THE DAY - The gates of hell cock ring - ‘The more excited you get the more the Gates of Hell tightens and hurts, for the ultimate experience in pleasurable pain let your dominator to lead you around by your cock, or tether you with the leash’ - In the catalogue / In reality:

“It always turns purple after a few minutes”
“As a suggestion if you do use it use gold bond powder it helps with the chaffing”
“I prefer rubber bands”
“Damn! I may be too small for these. I'm going to have to take some measurements before I go shopping”
“They are OK I prefer the English cock cage”

Reason For Me To Want To Find A Wife OF THE DAY - I would be eligible for lots of new sports


Staying on the subject of football, I heard a story the other day about troublesome blowing of another kind. Danish referee Henning Erikstrup was officiating a rather exciting match that was ending 4-3 just as he was about to blow for fulltime. Except as he went to blow his whistle his false teeth fell out of his mouth and on to the pitch. An equalising goal was scored as he was picking them up making it 4-4, but Erikstrup, who had not even seen the goal, immediately ruled it out on the grounds that he would have whistled before it went in. “I had to get my teeth back before some player put his big foot on them” he said afterwards, when asked why he didn't just whistle without his teeth in.
See that was a nice filth free football story. [Question You Must Answer In The Form Of A Comment:] You don’t think I’m filthy though do you?


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